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On this fine day twenty years ago I was born.

That is all. For now. I expect celebrations to be had in my name. I want statues made of gold.

"Buy my soda said the moose diarrhea salesman. And we did. We all did. But when we bought it home and opened it, it was not what we thought we were getting. And instead of searching for something better, we settled for searching for another moose diarrhea salesman."
- - Jello Biafra (via audreywatters)



remember this show where this one dude had to guess what is he smelling and he put his nose into someones asshole and went “smells like ass” and the commentator went “correct” and this dude did the funniest expression ever. wheres that gif